to leave or not to leave…

Are you wondering if this relationship with your gay or bisexual significant other is worth staying for? I think we tend to weigh out all of our options. For me, when I found out that my ex spouse was gay, I started weighing out all the options. I did this because we had children. I got to thinking maybe we could still live in one household and raise the kids together and live separate lives. And then after I digested what was really going on in the reality of that picture, that was not going to be a healthy situation for me or for my kids. If I didn’t have children with this person, I know for sure I would have moved on as soon as possible. And that’s pretty much what I did. Regardless if we had children or not. The first step in this whole process is once you find out that your significant other is gay or bisexual, you need to start figuring out a plan for yourself to get away from this person. This can be very challenging and difficult especially when you do have children. Deep down, I knew this was the right path for me. You really have to rely on your gut instinct in life! If your gut tells you something different than your heart or your brain, you still need to follow your gut! It was bad enough to find out that my ex-husband was gay but it would’ve been worse to try and manage all of that and also raise my children on my own. It was best that I walk away, cut the cord and as difficult as it was when my children were eight and ten years old but ultimately it was for the best! I encourage you to do the same! Do it for yourself and if you have children, move on from that relationship for them as well. Don’t second-guess yourself. Don’t let your gay or bi sexual significant other talk you into staying.

First, figure out a plan financially in making sure your finances can support your move if need be. Try and have as many people in your family and friends supporting you! This is so important! Make sure you lean on the friends and family that you can count on. If any of those people are toxic or make your life more difficult, stay away from them. You need people around you who are as good as you if not better than you to make this transition. Second, give yourself some grace and understanding as to what you’re going through. This is an emotional roller coaster that you will be on for a period of time until all gets settled. My suggestion to you is to find your faith in God and a group of believers who will help you and pray for you through this process. Third, I definitely sought out a professional therapist. I know that this can be expensive but it is worth the investment to find the right person who can help you. I too can help you through this process. This is what I do for a living. I have been there and gone through everything you’re going through. Also, make sure you are getting plenty of good rest and sleeping. I cannot stress this enough. You are so much more sound of a person when you are rested. You also can handle the emotional stress and strain with a clearer mind and be able to mend your heart and your brain easier. Be good to yourself! If you haven’t already, start praying for peace and calmness in your life. Get to know the path of Jesus Christ and keep your faith in God front and center. God bless you and I’m so sorry you are going through this. You’re gonna make it!